Linda Brakeall Battered Women Standing Up for Themselves

Battered Women Stand Up for Themselves!

One of the worst aspects of being a battered woman is the feeling of being alone, of feeling that no one knows and no one cares. And that you can’t tell anyone because the fear and embarrassment of being exposed as a victim is as bad as the pain of being beaten.
I had an alcoholic abusive father. I’ve been there. I have a very good friend who after years of friendship told me her story about her first husband and how she lived as a captive for 8 years before she found a way to get out and get on with her life.
I don’t have to explain to you what you – and many others – have gone through. You know all that but let me share with you what I’ve learned through a variety of experiences; some of them my own.
Those who batter women are typically bullies and bullies only respect other bullies. You have to get mentally and physically tough enough to stand your ground, draw a line in the sand and GET OUT. Chances are it will not be in that order.
Getting out and getting safe is the first and best choice. You’ll need support to do that. Go to http://www.google.com/ and search "battered women Columbus" or whatever your city or state is and find the resources you need.
Take a self-defense class wherever you can find one. You can often find them close by in adult education at the local high school, college or YMCA. Women who know how to defend and protect themselves stand taller, walk with more confidence and project an aura that discourages abuse.
The underlying issue is all about setting boundaries, isn’t it? And they have to be set early and often. And you have to stand your ground. Most battery doesn’t start with an in-the-hospital beating. Most start with one slap. If the bully got away with that, it escalated…and so on. Self-respect requires boundaries.
If you’ve got kids, you probably know about setting boundaries and just have to apply the same knowledge that you have applied to raising your kids. “No, you cannot have candy before dinner. That’s the rule. You don’t have to like it, but that’s the rule.” You firmly stick to your guns this time and next time it gets easier but if you back down you’ll have to start all over again. And the next time it’s harder because they assume you will buckle. They cannot respect you if they don’t take you seriously.
Strong women set boundaries and are taken seriously. Strong women get respect. Strong women act strong on the outside even when they don’t feel like it on the inside. You can do this. You have a world full of women rooting for you.