The Beginning and The End

We all have to make the most out of our lives, there are so many people who do not value our lives or their own. When you are in an abusive relationship and you stay, the people that you love the most are the ones that suffer in the end. We as women love so hard and deep and when we are fed up, we just let go. After a woman is beaten to a pulp, her dignity is gone, her zest is gone and her real being is gone. When a woman is at the end of rope and she decides to hang on for dear life, she no longer will sustain the abuse and move on. The heart wrenching part of it all, is that when she decides that enough is enough, some men cannot deal with that reality and they decide to end the lives of these women.

We hear everyday about women losing their lives and it is truly sad. Women from all walks of life experience abuse first hand and their is no discrimination in abuse, any woman from any background can experience domestic violence, rich or poor, black or white, the experience of abuse can strike us all.

I listen to women daily who say it couldn't be me, I wouldn't take no man hitting me! Well, I do not believe any woman likes to be abused, but the will to stay is sometimes stronger than the will to leave. Some women do not believe that they can make it on their own and they are fearful of starting all over again by themselves. Men thrive on that mindset because they keep the women in line with this way of thinking.

Experiencing abuse at the hands of someone that your heart yearns for is devastating, you know deep down in your heart that it's not right, but you focus on the person you knew before, not the person that is in the here and now. You know that this person has a good side and you are trying to bring that loving side back out and through this journey the abuse endured is unbelievable. You are devastated, you feel lost and you question the person you are. You say to yourself, I am not this person, I am not someone that allows a man to beat her, but when you look in the mirror, you actually have a reality check, it is you!

For those that are aware of your abuse they tell you to leave, but they do not understand what both of you have shared, nobody really understands how passionate you love each other, and your union with this person is strong. You don't leave at the first signs of trouble, plus you do not want to be labeled a failure, so you continue to endure and hide the truth. You hear constantly your friends that are telling you to leave, don't even have a man, they are jealous of what you have, so don't let them ruin your love or life.

The reality is that hiding the truth is also hiding yourself. You are no longer the person you used to be, you are now a shell of a person and a person living in fear. Your joy has left your body and your smile has become a frown, it even hurts to commit to a fake smile to feel better or impress others. How could you have been so wrong about someone? Why are you facing these challenges? Is this some horrible way of being paid back from any wrongs in your past? You now look at this individual who pretends that everything that is wrong in his world is your fault. He wants to kiss you, he wants to hit you, he wants to have sex with you and tell you how much he loves you; and then he tells you nobody else will want you; so basically your best bet is to stay with him and endure.

The worst part of it all is that whether long term or briefly you believe him and doubt yourself. You believe that he is it, that you cannot do better. We can see the signs of abusive men, men that get on facebook and other social sites and degrade women, men that share their business on facebook and other sites are abusive because they feel a sense of power in their actions. Men that want to tell you what to wear and how to dress, that constantly put you down and tell you if you have gained an ounce of weight or you are not as pretty as you used to be. Men that try to separate you from your family and friends and complain that you are not giving them enough attention, because your world is supposed to revolve around theirs. If you feel that you have to always rush home and that you can never go out ANYWHERE, that is also a questionable tactic on their part.

Life is meant to be lived in the beginning and to the end, don't let your life be dictated and eventually be taken away, love yourself and be careful with who you choose to love.

Children are the Victims

One of the saddest things in this world is how children sometimes go unprotected. There are men and women sexually abusing children every second, minute and hour of each day. These helpless children are the prey of pedophiles. The worst part of it, is that some people are made aware of these abusive practices and pretend to be blinded by this injustice.

Who are we as people if we do not stand up for the children. I mean the children, who are being abused, molested, tortured, kidnapped and sold. If you imagine the worst thing that happened to you as a child and you could only remember being yelled at or not allowed to go out with your friends, you are certainly one of the blessed ones. But if you can regress back to a time when you told your mother that your stepfather was touching you inappropriately and she told you to stop lying and being a slut, or the time when your brother tried to have sexual relations with you and you had no choice in the matter, or your coach takes you in the shower and does unthinkable things to you, then you have fallen prey to the abusers in this world. We are slacking and lacking in protecting our children and it is not right.

What would make a child think twice about sharing this experience with their parents if molested? What kind of mind would mentally justify molesting a child? What kind of parent would not believe a child or even investigate when a child shares information about sexual abuse? What makes us doubt our children? Wouldn't there be at the back of your mind and thoughts that they could be telling the truth? These people are sick and they need help, but in the mean time these children suffer. I do not have all of the answers; but what I can say is to allow a child to be physically hurt and molested is cruel. To know that something wrong has happened and not be attentive to aiding a child is wrong. We have to do better in our roles as adults, even when we do not want to get involved. These scars are everlasting and we have to do our best to help prevent children from experiencing these painful injustices. We are all that they have, shouldn't we help them until they can help themselves? Would you want someone there for you? Pay attention and Care..Silence can be the scar of a lifetime.

Greg Norman: Steve Williams a little dumb in comments but not racist

Greg Norman: Steve Williams a little dumb in comments but not racist

How to End Violence

Rev. Al Sharpton

President, National Action Network

How to End Violence? Get Guns Off of the Street

Whenever we hear of horrific tragedies like the slaying of Zurana Horton, a 34-year-old mother of 13 who was killed by a stray bullet last Friday while shielding children outside of an elementary school in Brooklyn, we often ask ourselves how such a travesty could happen. We watch as mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children and all those left behind mourn the loss of their loved ones and grapple with how to push forward with their head held high. But what we do not focus on enough is how guns have gotten into the hands of the wrong people in the first place, and why they are so readily accessible to them. This week in NY, eight NYPD officers were charged with helping to run a gun-smuggling ring in a city already grappling with unresolved shootings. Whether it's illegal trafficking on the streets or organized illegal trafficking with the assistance of authority, bottom line is, we must stop guns from coming into our community -- period.
I can't begin to tell you how many funerals I've attended or how many family members I've tried to comfort after they traumatically lost someone near and dear to them to a senseless act of violence. Often times caught in a crossfire of bullets, these innocent victims have ranged in age from infants to grandmothers, and have been killed while completing everyday tasks like picking up children from school or running an errand, or simply sitting in their home. But what is strikingly clear is that a vast majority of these shooting victims have been Black and Latino, and we simply cannot remain silent about saving our families and protecting our streets.
Gun supporters and advocates always champion the 2nd Amendment and our right to bear arms. But this right doesn't mean that everyone should possess a weapon. It doesn't mean guns should be so readily accessible to the least stable among us. And it doesn't mean that we don't need stricter gun laws to keep them out of the hands of criminals and those with a complete disregard for human life. Perhaps the fierce gun proponents need to take a walk in our neighborhoods, where young children have to dodge bullets just to get an education, or where mothers and fathers spend sleepless nights figuring out ways to keep their families safe. Or maybe they need to have a conversation with Zurana Horton's 13 children who will now have to somehow survive without a mother for the rest of their lives.
The trafficking of guns in this country is it an astronomical level. The sheer fact that police officers who are hired to serve and protect us would willingly participate in such behavior is egregious at best. We must ensure that those eight NYPD law enforcement officials receive the appropriate punishment and we all must work to get these guns off of our streets and out of the hands of would-be murderers. We at NAN previously held gun buy-back programs, and we will continue such activities with the hopes that others will follow suit.
We cannot continue to watch heroes like Zurana Horton lose their lives, and we cannot continue to bury our precious ones. Life is indeed short, but let's not make it shorter by killing one another needlessly. Get guns out of the community and stop them from ever finding their way back in. Together, we can save ourselves -- and the next generation.

 

Follow Rev. Al Sharpton on Twitter: www.twitter.com/TheRevAl

Rebecca Walker, Anita Hill Woke Us Up

Rebecca Walker

Bestselling Author and Speaker

Anita Hill Woke Us Up

Posted: 10/27/11 11:24 AM ET
Close your eyes. Can you remember what you were doing in October of 1991? Zoom in on the crisp fall days of the Senate hearings when Anita Hill stood up and told her truth. Can you see it?
I can. I was a senior at Yale, and I had a very cute boyfriend whom I berated constantly for using sexist, homophobic language -- like calling a guy who wouldn't stand up to his girlfriend a pussy or a fag. He was a very nice young man from a well-known activist family that had fought for civil rights for generations. He said he was talking like one of the guys, and that I was blowing things out of proportion.
I wasn't having it. I had taken bell hooks' class the semester before. I had grown up crawling around the Ms. magazine offices and spent summers at my godmother Gloria Steinem's house. My mother was one of the most visible black feminists in the world. All of which meant that the boyfriend and I had some lovely discussions about Rousseau and the Enlightenment over ramen at my tiny off-campus apartment, but we almost came to blows over what I found to be his unfathomable utterances of patriarchal subterfuge.
And there was more, much more, happening that fall. The shocking footage of Rodney King being beaten mercilessly by the Los Angeles Police Department was viral before any of us even had email. George H.W. Bush was after Roe v. Wade, restricting access to reproductive choice for women and families -- one law, one county, one clinic at a time.
In other news, my generation was marked with a giant X that, we were told repeatedly, stood for unengaged, apathetic, self-absorbed children of Reaganomics, dilettantes who only wanted to make a ton of money. Newsweek screamed that feminism was dead, and the civil rights movement was, too. The pundits opined that this generation without a name had moved on from the equality game. Our parents may have marched, but we were going to business school.
But the hype never rang true to me. My friends and I were the opposite of apathetic. We were consumed. Van Jones and I argued on street corners in New Haven, Conn., about whether it was more effective to work for change within the corridors of power and privilege or outside of them. A brilliant law student I dated for a bit introduced me to KRS-One and Boogie Down Productions -- and their recycled slogan: By Any Means Necessary. After dinner we talked about how to apply the missive to build and control black media outlets.
My friends and I walked down the street listening to Tracy Chapman sing "Talking 'Bout a Revolution" on our Walkmans with tears streaming down our faces. U2's anthem to Dr. King, "Pride," blared on the quad. I stayed up all night talking with a dear friend about starting an ACT UP chapter on campus in response to Bush's refusal to mention AIDS at a point when thousands were dying of the disease. Two black women at my university attempted suicide, and we demanded a more substantive response from the administration to the high rates of depression among women of color on campus.
And we started a magazine for "people of color," a term that was fresh to our ears at the time, in hopes of bringing all the isolated groups together -- African Americans, West Indians, Chicanos, Puerto Ricans, even the Chinese dissidents given asylum in our hallowed halls. Wasn't it a matter of those with power and those without? Wouldn't we stand a better chance if we joined together?
Contrary to the media's assessment, my tribe of Gen Xers was forging the language of coalition politics -- now known in academia as intersectionality theory -- by discussing the constructs of race, gender, sexual orientation and socioeconomic status, and how these identities were used to categorize and divide us. Our understanding that the world needed to shift in response to the overlapping oppressions and suppression of marginalized people was at the core of our personal and intellectual lives.
But it wasn't until the fall before my graduation that we got our chance to test the baby we were incubating. It wasn't until Hill spoke up and revealed the ongoing discrimination, the still-yawning chasm between powerful and powerless, that we found a place to enter the political fray and share our passion for change.
Ten years later, when the twin towers were struck, students at my alma mater sat together before large screens and absorbed the shock collectively. But when Hill stood up and said that Clarence Thomas had repeatedly made lewd, offensive, degrading comments to her, there was no huge television for us to watch. There was no Google to constantly refresh on the subject.
We heard about the hearings from our friends who had televisions, who read the newspapers -- all of them -- every day. I heard about them from friends in the movement, women of all ages and backgrounds who were in New York and Washington -- ground zero, so to speak -- who called to give me updates and ask for my response.
Which I gave. Stridently. Informally, in radio interviews, and formally in an article for Ms. magazine called "Becoming the Third Wave," both an ode to Hill and a manifesto for a new generation of activists. In addition to other exhortations, I suggested that we not sleep with men who did not respect us. I declared that I was not a postfeminist feminist, but the Third Wave. In other words, I said, no, the fight wasn't over. The next curl was just about to crash onto the shore.
Hill's courage made me write those words. And those words sparked letters from hundreds of young women who concurred. They were the Third Wave, too, they said, and what were we going to do about it?
If the history were known, I could simply say that the rest was history. But when the people at the center of the history are black, or women, or gay, or poor or all of the above, this is often impossible. So I won't say the rest is history, because it isn't, but it is out there on Google: the New York Times statement by African American Women in Defense of Ourselves, the sparking of the national LGBT movement called ACT UP and the tremendous outpouring of activism of all kinds in the early '90s -- from local, direct-action campaigns to the formation of progressive PACs and wealth-redistribution plans in the guise of 501(c)(3)s. That history is out there because Hill resisted erasure. She made sure her story was on the record, and that encouraged so many of us to do the same.
As for me, I graduated and, with a diverse group of other deeply motivated Gen Xers, founded Third Wave, a nonprofit dedicated to the empowerment of girls ages 15-30, then a completely underserved demographic within the philanthropic and advocacy worlds. Twenty years later, thanks to Hill, who supported our very first voter registration in inner cities and spoke to our intrepid team along the way, Third Wave has given millions of dollars to help young women make meaningful change in their lives and communities.
Thanks to Hill, a new generation of feminists and social-change agents were given their moment to shine, and many have been going strong ever since. While Hill has gone on to produce brilliant scholarship and create a life very separate from those hearings, many continue to draw upon the energy of her strength in those moments. We remember what she wore when she stood up to pledge to tell the truth, but most of all, we remember what she said.
Originally posted on The Root.

 

Follow Rebecca Walker on Twitter: www.twitter.com/rebeccawalker

Adult children living at home

Adult children living at home after their parents are retired

October 29, 2011 · Filed Under Statistics 

A new report from TD Canada Trust shows that adult children living at home may be interfering with their parents’ retirement plans — because those adult children will still be living with Mom and Dad after the parents have retired.
The TD Canada Trust Boomer Buyers Report shows that 17% of baby boomers who plan to downsize are delaying selling the family home because they still have adult children living at home. Of those, 12% say they will likely still have adult children living with them after they have retired.
These numbers illustrate one of the important points I try to make when talking about why adult children should always make a financial contribution to the household, and why it’s important to create a family budget. While it may seem like it’s “free” for parents to let their children live at home, it simply is not. In this case, parents who would otherwise be lowering their living expenses and freeing up equity from the family home are delaying doing so in order to house their adult children. This is a real, and significant, cost.
This report also raises an important question: Does it make sense for boomers who have retired and are living on pensions or retirement savings to continue to support their adult children, who are in their prime earning years?

Posted by Christina

Positive Attitude

It is important that you recognize your progress and take pride in your accomplishments. Share your achievements with others. Brag a little. The recognition and support of those around you is nurturing. – Rosemarie Rossetti

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. – Herm Albright

If you think about disaster, you will get it. Brood about death and you hasten your demise. Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience. – Swami Vivekananda

You’ve done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination. – Ralph Marston 

Challenges

In life we face so many challenges, but we can never give up. Giving up is not an option. We have to stay focused and stay true to Rising Above Our Circumstances. There will always be people to tear you down when you have fallen, but it is up to you to rise and know that failing is not Failure. Failure is giving up.

http://www.witn.com/news/headlines/Allred_Says_New_Woman_To_Accuse_Herman_Cain_133363738.html?ref=738

http://www.witn.com/news/headlines/Allred_Says_New_Woman_To_Accuse_Herman_Cain_133363738.html?ref=738

Penn State fallout forces changes – USATODAY.com

Penn State fallout forces changes – USATODAY.com

Why Herman Cain Is The Koch Brothers’ Favorite Presidential Candidate

Why Herman Cain Is The Koch Brothers’ Favorite Presidential Candidate: pFormer pizza executive Herman Cain’s rise to the top of the Republican presidential pack will undoubtedly put smiles on the faces of two brothers: Charles and David Koch. The Koch Brothers are infamous for using their billions to finance the Tea Party and helping to gut business and environmental regulations. They have not been shy [...]/p

President Obama Marks Domestic Violence Awareness Month

President Obama Marks Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October 3, 2011

President Obama released a statement today to mark the beginning of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month 2011. In it, he affirmed his administration’s commitment to preventing and ending domestic violence in the United States. He also called on all citizens to do our part to teach children the importance of healthy, non-violent relationships.

Read the full statement from President Obama below and join Futures Without Violence in celebrating this important month of awareness.

  

THE WHITE HOUSE

Office of the Press Secretary

For Immediate Release October 3, 2011

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH, 2011

BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

A PROCLAMATION

During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we recognize the significant achievements we have made in reducing domestic violence in America, and we recommit ourselves to the important work still before us. Despite tremendous progress, an average of three women in America die as a result of domestic violence each day. One in four women and one in thirteen men will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. These statistics are even more sobering when we consider that domestic violence often goes unreported.

The ramifications of domestic violence are staggering. Young women are among the most vulnerable, suffering the highest rates of intimate partner violence. Exposure to domestic violence puts our young men and women in danger of long-term physical, psychological, and emotional harm. Children who experience domestic violence are at a higher risk for failure in school, emotional disorders, and substance abuse, and are more likely to perpetuate the cycle of violence themselves later in life.

My Administration is working not only to curb domestic violence, but to bring it to an end. Last year, we announced an unprecedented coordinated strategy across Federal agencies to prevent and stop violence against women. We are empowering survivors to break the cycle of abuse with programs to help them become financially independent. We have prevented victims of domestic violence from being evicted or denied assisted housing after abuse. And we are promoting tools for better enforcement of protective orders, while helping survivors gain access to legal representation.

In addition, as part of the Affordable Care Act, the Department of Health and Human Services announced historic new guidelines that will ensure women receive preventive health services without additional cost, including domestic violence screening and counseling. The Affordable Care Act also ensures that insurance companies can no longer classify domestic violence as a pre-existing condition.

Last December, I reauthorized the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act, giving communities life-saving tools to help identify and treat child abuse or neglect. It also supports shelters, service programs, and the National Domestic Violence Hotline, linking tens of thousands of victims every month to the resources needed to reach safety. I encourage victims, their loved ones, and concerned citizens to use this hotline for more information at 1-800-799-SAFE or visit www.TheHotline.org.

This is not just a job for government; it is a job for all of us. Vice President Joe Biden's "1is2many" initiative reminds us that everyone has a part to play in ending violence against youth. By engaging men and women, mothers and fathers, and schools and universities in the fight, we can teach our children about healthy relationships. We are asking everyone to play an active role in preventing and ending domestic violence, by stepping up to stop violence when they see it. During National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we recommit to making sure that no one suffers alone, and to assisting those who need help in reaching a safer tomorrow.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim October 2011 as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I call on all Americans to speak out against domestic violence and support local efforts to assist victims of these crimes in finding the help and healing they need.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this third day of October, in the year of our Lord two thousand eleven, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-sixth.

BARACK OBAMA

Linda Brakeall Battered Women Standing Up for Themselves

Battered Women Stand Up for Themselves!

One of the worst aspects of being a battered woman is the feeling of being alone, of feeling that no one knows and no one cares. And that you can’t tell anyone because the fear and embarrassment of being exposed as a victim is as bad as the pain of being beaten.
I had an alcoholic abusive father. I’ve been there. I have a very good friend who after years of friendship told me her story about her first husband and how she lived as a captive for 8 years before she found a way to get out and get on with her life.
I don’t have to explain to you what you – and many others – have gone through. You know all that but let me share with you what I’ve learned through a variety of experiences; some of them my own.
Those who batter women are typically bullies and bullies only respect other bullies. You have to get mentally and physically tough enough to stand your ground, draw a line in the sand and GET OUT. Chances are it will not be in that order.
Getting out and getting safe is the first and best choice. You’ll need support to do that. Go to http://www.google.com/ and search "battered women Columbus" or whatever your city or state is and find the resources you need.
Take a self-defense class wherever you can find one. You can often find them close by in adult education at the local high school, college or YMCA. Women who know how to defend and protect themselves stand taller, walk with more confidence and project an aura that discourages abuse.
The underlying issue is all about setting boundaries, isn’t it? And they have to be set early and often. And you have to stand your ground. Most battery doesn’t start with an in-the-hospital beating. Most start with one slap. If the bully got away with that, it escalated…and so on. Self-respect requires boundaries.
If you’ve got kids, you probably know about setting boundaries and just have to apply the same knowledge that you have applied to raising your kids. “No, you cannot have candy before dinner. That’s the rule. You don’t have to like it, but that’s the rule.” You firmly stick to your guns this time and next time it gets easier but if you back down you’ll have to start all over again. And the next time it’s harder because they assume you will buckle. They cannot respect you if they don’t take you seriously.
Strong women set boundaries and are taken seriously. Strong women get respect. Strong women act strong on the outside even when they don’t feel like it on the inside. You can do this. You have a world full of women rooting for you.

Afraid to Love

One of the most beautiful things in this world is to find true love. When you are in love with someone you really do not want the beautiful feelings to end. You feel like you are walking on clouds barefoot and everyone is about love. The pain comes when things are no longer meshing the way that you want, and the love begins to fade. You try to hold on for dear life in hopes that everything will eventually work out, and when it doesn't we are devastated. We experience all sorts of thoughts, we think about revenge and suicide. We want to get that person back for breaking our hearts and we experience so much pain that we want to take our own lives. You can get through, the feelings will change and the pain will subside. You have to know that this is only temporary, as anything in life. Never be afraid to love, because love is truly a learning experience and in order to experience you must take the ride. Never be afraid to ride the train of love, no matter where it may take you.

To love is a Must

Love is a beautiful thing and I believe why we get so angry with our breakups is because we shared our hearts and it hurts when it is not appreciated. To give your heart to someone is not an easy task, and for them not to hold your heart dear is painful and disrespectful, but do not allow hate to cover your spirit, for your heart deserves to be shared with someone else who may or may not appreciate it again. So we must remember there are no guarantees, but the experience is definitely worthwhile.

Failing Leads to Success

You would think as a people all of the hurdles we jump over would keep us in shape, but I believe it sharpens the spirit. You see when you fail at something, you may cry over it, but then you realize, had I done this or that, things would have turned out better. Failing is not failure, it is gaining experience and knowledge. That is why our parents have the right to teach us, because they have more experience in certain areas. You have to fail in order to learn, failing humbles, inspires and allows us to change course and start again. Failing is on the path to success. Sharock P.

KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

There are two kinds of people in this world, those that lend a hand, and those that lend a foot, know the difference for who kicks you when you are down and who stretches out a hand to help you up, for one should never get the two confused. Sharock P.

There are always going to be people that support you in this world and people who glow because of your misery. Pay close attention to people you call friends, pay very close attention. Sharock P.

"I killed a Nigerian dating my wife as self-defence", Chigora | Zimbabwe news , Zimbabwe News online - Refreshingly Different

"I killed a Nigerian dating my wife as self-defence", Chigora | Zimbabwe news , Zimbabwe News online - Refreshingly Different

MILLION WOMEN RISE MOVEMENT

MILLION WOMEN RISE MOVEMENT

A Safe Place raises awareness of domestic and dating violence with 10th annual walk at Lake Merritt

A Safe Place raises awareness of domestic and dating violence with 10th annual walk at Lake Merritt

The City of New York Honors Legendary Singer Dionne Warwick

The City of New York Honors Legendary Singer Dionne Warwick: Entertainment legends are born with a special gift which allows them to display talents that resonate in the...

History! Army Selects First Black Woman As Two Star General

Written by Associated Press on October 3, 2011 10:06 am

FORT KNOX, Ky.— For Marcia Anderson, the promotion from brigadier general to major general validates the work of everyone who came before her.

Anderson on Thursday became the first African-American woman given a second star as a general in the U.S. Army during a ceremony at Fort Knox. It’s a day, Anderson said, that black soldiers who fought during the Civil War or the Tuskegee Airmen could never have imagined.
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“But, they still signed up and served,” said Anderson, who lives in Verona, Wis., when not on active duty.
Anderson, who will leave her post as deputy commanding general of the Human Resources Command at Fort Knox on Friday, received the promotion after a three-decade long military career. She is moving to the office of the chief of the U.S. Army Reserve in Washington, D.C.
Anderson’s father, Rudy Mahan of Beloit, Wis., served in the U.S. Army Air Force during World War II, but never got to fulfill his dream of flying bombers. He drove trucks instead. It’s something Anderson attributes to the narrow options available to blacks at the time.
“There were just limited opportunities,” Anderson said in an interview after her promotion.
Her military career started almost by accident. When she was a student at Creighton University in Omaha, Neb., Anderson signed up for ROTC after being told the “military science” course would fill her science requirement.
“I pretty quickly found out it was much more than a substitute for gym class,” Anderson said.
Ahe stayed with the military, fulfilling her eight year commitment before deciding to re-enlist in the reserves. Anderson, an East St. Louis, Ill., native, said she was a captain, working on training soldiers “just off the street,” when it occurred to her it was a job she enjoyed and wanted to keep doing.
“Before there is a war fighter, there is a trainer,” Anderson said. “I get really excited about training soldiers. I think it’s the best job in the Army.”
The military promoted Anderson periodically and, when she became a brigadier general, Anderson became the highest-ranking African-American woman in the Army. She arrived at Fort Knox about a year ago to work on combining the Army’s Human Resources Command under one roof from stations in Richmond, Va., St. Louis and Indianapolis.
Fort Knox Commander, Lt. Gen. Benjamin Freakley, told Anderson she is “a role model, not only to me and those that worked with you, but to countless soldiers.”
“I am very, very grateful,” Freakley said.
Maj. Gen. Gina Farrisee, who oversees the Human Resources Command, said Anderson was tenacious and diligent in making sure soldiers got the information they needed.
“To me, it is very hard to fathom Human Resources Command without you,” Farrisee said. “This is going to be very hard.”
Despite the plaudits, Anderson never lost sight of what her father and others went through to make her career possible.
“This is for people like him who had dreams deferred,” Anderson said.

Tragic! HS Cheerleader Mysteriously Dies While Cheering

Written by Associated Press on October 3, 2011 11:16 am 

 

LOS ANGELES— When students return for school Monday morning at Washington Prep, they’ll be greeted by crisis counselors and missing one of their beloved classmates, a cheerleader who died after collapsing during a football game.

Angela Gettis, a 16-year-old sophomore at the school, was rallying the crowd Friday night in the fourth quarter of a tie game at Fremont High School when she suffered an apparent cardiac arrest, Los Angeles Unified School District spokesman Tom Waldman said.
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The game stopped as coaches and trainers ran to help. Bystanders performed CPR while waiting for paramedics to arrive. Gettis died about three hours later at a hospital, becoming the second teenage girl from Los Angeles district schools to die over the weekend after a dramatic campus incident.
School officials planned to discuss Gettis at a Monday morning news conference.
School district Superintendent John Deasy said the girl was “a wonderful young lady. It is a catastrophic loss for the school and for the community. My heart goes out to her family.”
Gettis was a good student, said officials at the inner-city school in a rough area of Los Angeles. She planned to attend college and wanted to major in forensic science, school principal Todd Ullah told KABC-TV.
At least two tribute pages memorializing the teen popped up on Facebook as news of her death spread.
Grief counselors and a makeshift memorial also await students at South East High School in South Gate, where a 17-year-old student was stabbed during a lunch break in front of many student witnesses.
The student, Cindi Santana, died at a hospital late Friday night, Deasy said.
Another student and an administrator who tried to help Santana had minor injuries.
Santana’s former boyfriend, 18-year-old Abraham Lopez, was being held on suspicion of murder, the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department said in a statement. Deputies reached by phone did not know whether he had retained an attorney.

Disrespect Around the world for Our President

China’s “Obama Fried Chicken” Sign Offends Sharpton, African Americans

Written by NewsOne Staff on October 3, 2011 8:33 am

 

A fast-food restaurant in Beijing called Obama Fried Chicken was derided in America yesterday as a racist rip-off.
Its sign shows a grinning caricature of President Obama’s head on a skinny version of Colonel Sanders’ body.
Below it, written in Chinese, is the slogan: “We’re so cool, aren’t we?”
“It’s insulting, offensive and plays to racial stereotypes,” the Rev. Al Sharpton told The Post.
“What makes it even worse is that when we deal with this global competition between the US and China, for them to be mocking the leader of the free world, I find it even more appalling.”

Big Business Or Slave Labor? What Prisoners Make In Jail

Written by NewsOne Staff on October 3, 2011 2:59 pm

 

 

If you thought slavery or human exploitation was over, think again.

Many human rights organizations are condemining what they call human slavery in which Wall Street investors and big companies are investing in the prison industry as they don’t have to worry about strikes, vacations, compensation time or unemployment insurance. They dont have to deal with sicknesses or lateness. Many of these prisoners are threatened with solitary confinement if they refuse to work for these wages.
This also makes it very clear to people that there are more incentives to lock up people in this country. The US has become extremely attractive to companies who would usually use labor in 3rd world countries. They now look toward prison wages for all the advantages they offer a corporation. The U.S. is 5 percent of the world’s population, but comprises a quarter of all prisoners in the world.
Want to read more about this industry extensively? Click here
Check out some random facts about the prison labor industry and some of the companies involved in it.

• Starbucks contractor Signature Packing Solutions once hired Washington prisoners to package holiday coffees as did Nintendo with their Game Boys.
• Microsoft once had prisoners shrink wrap software
• In Texas, inmates produce brooms, brushes, bedding, mattresses, toilets, sinks and showers.
• Dell once had inmates recycle PC’s but a watchdog group pprevented them from doing so because it would expose inmates to toxins.
• Inmates have also produced missile cables. They also cut aircut components which pay them 7.00 an hour when on the outside union wages would be 30.00.
• California inmates sew their own garbs.
• Prisoners in Wisconsin once helped build a Walmart in 2005 until community uproar halted the program.
• Prison industry pproduces 100 pct of all military helments, ammo belts, bulletproof vest, etc.
• Private prisons pay from 93 cents to $4.73 per hour.
• Federal prisons pay from  93 cents to $1.25 per hour.

When Does Supporting Black Men Become Tiring?

Written by Tamika Mallory on September 30, 2011 1:01 pm

A few days ago, a couple of girlfriends and I got together for dinner to catch up, vent and let off some overheated steam. What started off as escapism from our every day battles quickly transformed into a precise focus on those very struggles.
‘Tamika, I want to talk about anything but politics, nothing serious please,’ is what they said.” But before you knew it, our discussion revolving around the men in our lives soon enough was fixated on the economy, jobs, housing, disproportionate incarceration rates – oh, and sex. As these external factors deteriorate, so too does family life, relationships and of course so too does the sex.  It’s time to be frank and honest ladies and gentlemen.
It’s no secret that the economic downfall of ’08 and the continued ramifications have affected us the most. With staggering unemployment rates that are double and sometimes triple the rates of joblessness among whites in some areas, a crippling rate of foreclosures, inadequate schools, reduced after-school programs and diminished opportunities overall, communities of color are bearing the brunt of this financial disaster.  And not surprisingly, more of our men are sometimes resorting to desperate means of providing for their families — and as a result — an astronomical number are finding themselves behind bars. The many that continually push to find legit work are losing faith as they are often the last ones hired in an environment where employers often look out for ‘their own’ first.
My friends and I, some who are married and some in serious relationships, all agreed on one thing:  we’re just flat out tired of trying to encourage these men out here. Even though we fully comprehend the dynamics at play that make it so extraordinarily difficult for our brothers to find work, we are simply exhausted from giving all of our energy and unconditional support – while at the same time holding down our own work. Black men often complain that we nag too much.  But what happens when the nagging stops?  Does that mean that we no longer care?  Or have we matured to a place of understanding what the other person may be going through? Perhaps the answer lies somewhere in between.
While we try to support our men both emotionally (and these days many times financially), we may be forgetting to take care of ourselves as well.  And with more men in jail, we’re clearly not receiving the attention we deserve, and let’s be honest there are also more and more women pleasing other women as a result. When men are broke or struggling, are we just no longer turned on?
The economic crisis clearly isn’t going to be resolved overnight.  But as we women continue to find strength to not only motivate ourselves but the men we love, we must also remind these men to get it together in order to keep the passion alive.  For not only is the Black family structure at risk, but so too is our physical bond as man and woman.  And who in their right mind wants that.

UNITED WE WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

The world censures those who take up arms to defend their causes and calls on them to use nonviolent means in voicing their grievances. But when a people chooses the nonviolent path, it is all too often the case that hardly anyone pays attention. It is tragic that people have to suffer and die and the television cameras have to deliver the pictures to people’s homes every day before the world at large admits there is a problem.
– Bishop Carlos Belo
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Non-violence can truly flourish when the world is free of poverty, hunger, discrimination, exclusion, intolerance and hatred – when women and men can realize their highest potential and live a secure and fulfilling life. Until then, each and every one of us would have to contribute – collectively and individually – to build peace through non-violence.
– Anwarul Chowdhury
————————————–
Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.
– Cherie Carter-Scott
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The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.
– Elderidge Cleaver
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We plant seeds that will flower as results in our lives, so best to remove the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt, that peace and abundance may manifest for all.
– Dorothy Day
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For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Hope is the strongest driving force for a people. Hope which brings about change, which produces new realities, is what opens man’s road to freedom. Once hope has taken hold, courage must unite with wisdom. That is the only way of avoiding violence, the only way of maintaining the calm one needs to respond peacefully to offenses.
– Oscar Arias Sanchez

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS NOT A FAD, IT CONSTANTLY PLAGUES OUR COMMUNITIES

Domestic violence does not only happen to adults. Forty percent of girls age 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend, and approximately one in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner.”
– Dianne Feinstein
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“If the numbers we see in domestic violence were applied to terrorism or gang violence, the entire country would be up in arms, and it would be the lead story on the news every night.”
– Rep. Mark Green
————————————–
Every woman who thinks she is the only victim of violence has to know that there are many more.
– Salma Hayek
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There is a subconscious way of taking violence as a way of expression, as a normality, and it has a lot of effects in the youth in the way they absorb education and what they hope to get out of life.
– Salma Hayek
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“One in three women may suffer from abuse and violence in her lifetime. This is an appalling human rights violation, yet it remains one of the invisible and under-recognized pandemics of our time.”  Violence against women is an appalling human rights violation. But it is not inevitable. We can put a stop to this.”
– Nicole Kidman
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Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime.”
– Herbert Ward
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That’s all nonviolence is – organized love.
– Joan Baez

OCTOBER IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE MONTH

“Domestic violence causes far more pain than the visible marks of bruises and scars. It is devastating to be abused by someone that you love and think loves you in return. It is estimated that approximately 3 million incidents of domestic violence are reported each year in the United States.”
– Dianne Feinstein
Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself- your strengths and your limitations –in contrast to depending on affirmation from others. Judith Bardwick- the Plateauing Trap 8, 1988
The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself. by Mark Caine – author
Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities because, as has been said, it is the quality which guarantees all others. Winston Churchill
————————————–
“Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.” Charles Jones

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month | jacksonville.com

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month jacksonville.com

Guest commentary: Take action to stop domestic violence

Guest commentary: Take action to stop domestic violence: Are we ever going to say “no more” to domestic violence? It seems that nearly daily we read about another incident of domestic violence. By now, researchers, clinicians and advocates have establis...

Domestic violence deadly in 2011

Domestic violence deadly in 2011

Ramirez formally charged with domestic violence | ajc.com

Ramirez formally charged with domestic violence ajc.com

A Champion For Women and Children. We Celebrate Ann! Tilden Graduate

New principal at Rogers Elementary aims high

Ann Broomes is the new principal at G.D. Rogers Garden Elementary in Bradenton. The school will have about 300 students for the 2010-2011 school year. Last year the school received the only F grade of any traditional public school in the region.
Buy Photo STAFF PHOTO / THOMAS BENDER

By ROBERT NAPPER
Correspondent

Published: Saturday, August 21, 2010 at 1:00 a.m.

Last Modified: Friday, August 20, 2010 at 9:38 p.m.

BRADENTON - Things could not have gone much worse at G.D. Rogers Garden Elementary School in Bradenton last year, when the new school received the only F grade by any traditional public school in the region.

Facts

Ann Broomes

Age: 45
Family: Husband, Darwin, four sons and a daughter, all
grown.
Education: Bachelor's in accounting, master's in
educational leadership from the University of South Florida.
Teaching experience: 7th-grade Haile Middle School
math teacher for five years.
Administrative experience: Three years as assistant
principal at Orange Ridge-Bullock Elementary School.
Teaching Philosophy: "As a
school system we deal with the whole child. These kids are good kids, they
all just need someone to care."

But the F grade, and test scores that showed only one in five third-graders were proficient in math, have not dampened the enthusiasm of the school's new principal, Ann Broomes.

Broomes faces the same challenges as any new principal -- from learning the names of teachers and staff, to building momentum for learning, to just discovering the lay-out of a new campus.

But Broomes arguably has the toughest task of any of the roughly 15 new principals who take the helm Monday at schools in Sarasota and Manatee counties.

Broomes must bring up dismal test scores, and prepare a staff that was almost completely turned over during a shake-up that came in the wake of the F grade.

But she also has to find a way to improve learning among a student population that is overwhelmingly poor and highly diverse at a school whose inaugural principal was ousted after just one year.

And yet, Broomes carries a grin from ear to ear while talking about those challenges, in part because she knows that with an F grade from the state last year, things can only improve.

"I am just so excited. There is just so much positive energy around me," she said. "And the district has given us so much support in everything we need."

After controversial loss, Ortiz lobbies hard for rematch – USATODAY.com

After controversial loss, Ortiz lobbies hard for rematch – USATODAY.com

LIFE

Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
— Unknown
A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.
— Rita Mae Brown
Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion.
— Mary Manin Morrissey
Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.
— Wayne Dyer
All things are connected. Whatever befalls the earth, befalls the sons of the earth. Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.
— Chief Seattle
We must be willing to fail and to appreciate the truth that often "Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived."
— M. Scott Peck

JoeDub Speaks Sports and Michael Vick 9/27/2011

      So the big news over this past weekend in the NFL was the injuries to Philadelphia Eagles star quarterback Micheal Vick and his post game comments on the referees. Many sports outlets who were watching the same game and know the rules made up by the NFL to protect their players agreed with his comments while others still had hate in their hearts for some of Vick's off the field activity. In my opinion I feel referees are a little bit hesitant to hold up the letter of NFL law when it comes to Micheal Vick because in peoples eyes they still want him to suffer a little bit, because they thought that he would not have rehabilitated his life this quickly after dogfighting charges that placed him in prison for 23 months of his life in one of the most notorious penitentiary's in the country Leavenworth,PA. The fact is that Vick's comments had merit because by the rulebook the NFL has in place to protect quarterbacks, replay film shows that players from the New York Giants were targeting Micheal Vick's head and face area acknowledging that he had a severe concussion the previous week in the much anticipated Atlanta game. If players feel that refs are not going to call penalties on them for hitting Vick illegally what do they really have to lose in a contact sport?. Hate Vick or love Vick that man has paid his dues to society and has earned his second 100 million dollar contract when many said he would never again reach stardom in the National Football League and if these latest events involving the refs do nothing, it will have at least brought awareness to this situation and force viewers and NFL executives to stay on high alert so all rules can be applied and the safety of its players are brought to the forefront.

46% percentage of teachers leave before their 5th year

Teachers are tired of the status quo, they are tired of not being appreciated for the daily jobs that they do. Why should teachers have to spend money out of their own pockets to teach our children? Why should teachers constantly be paid as the lowest members on the todem pole; especially when their job empowers our children for the future?

Do we take our teachers for granted? Where is the respect for teachers? These people educate our children on a daily basis and some parents view them as babysitters. Well these babysitters spend the majority of their day with our children, wouldn't you want them to be happy and to have access to the necessary tools to equip our children?

Why aren't parents attending Open Houses and meetings to discuss the future for their children? Why do parents blame teachers for all of the educational woes with their children? Do we expect too much from our teachers, or are they lacking in their achievements? Are today's teachers falling short of educating our children on a competitive level?

Should hispanic teachers be allowed to speak spanish to students who do not comprehend english? There are so many issues facing our teachers today, what can we do to help? Are Public Schools doomed?

In order for our children to be successful in their educational endeavors, we as parents must take an active role and pay attention. It does take a village to raise a child and all shareholders must be account for and ready to work. Our children need all of us and together we can raise awareness for the educational woes and make a difference in the lives of our children.

Live Your Life

We as people must realize that we are only here for a short period of time and we must make the best of our time here on earth.

So many of us take this time for granted and never complete our designated tasks. We are a purposeful people and we must seek out our purpose and live our lives.

Today make it your business to seek out your purpose and work towards your goals. Enjoy your life and be the best you that you can be.

Love life and yourself, like there is no tomorrow. Be You and Love You.

Infant with fractured skull leads to man's arrest

Infant with fractured skull leads to man's arrest

Domestic violence deadly in 2011

Domestic violence deadly in 2011

Conservative Ire with Perry Runs Deep, Reflects Racial Politics – Patriot Update

Conservative Ire with Perry Runs Deep, Reflects Racial Politics – Patriot Update

‘America is MORE racist under Obama’: Morgan Freeman slams President’s Tea Party critics – Patriot Update

‘America is MORE racist under Obama’: Morgan Freeman slams President’s Tea Party critics – Patriot Update

Sad Day for America Troy Davis Gets Terminated Innocent?

The death of Troy Davis should show Americans, Our People, and people across the world how truly valuable African American Lives are in this country. You can throw as many facts and theories in the equation if you want but throw this fact in there first, "The witness who said they saw Mr. Davis was a convicted felon who stated they were under pressure from their attorney to point out Troy Davis and in return get a lesser penalty". In the Dominic Strauss Kahn case that was thrown out in New York after he raped a Hotel Attendant, the D.A. Law office said she wasn't a credible witness as she lied about her income on an application and her legal docs for immigration? "So how can another states legal system kill a man when the witnesses are compromised and almost all the witnesses have recanted their statements?"
This is a sad day in our country that even in 2011 someone who may be innocent gets terminated and the real COP KIller could be living their life Scott free!
If there is a slight doubt that Mr. Davis could be innocent you would think we as a country would exhaust every possibility before taking a man's life considering what we just went through with the events that took place in the CASEY ANTHONY trial.

U.S. Supreme Court grants reprieve for Davis execution - CBS Atlanta 46

U.S. Supreme Court grants reprieve for Davis execution - CBS Atlanta 46

Officials: Burger King employee shot, killed by ex-boyfriend

Officials: Burger King employee shot, killed by ex-boyfriend

Ex-San Ramon cop kept jailed by feds after domestic violence arrest - San Jose Mercury News

Ex-San Ramon cop kept jailed by feds after domestic violence arrest - San Jose Mercury News

Police monitor social networking to fight gangs - St. Petersburg Times

Police monitor social networking to fight gangs - St. Petersburg Times

Authorities: Gunman kills wife, then injures pastors during prayers at Lakeland church - St. Petersburg Times

Authorities: Gunman kills wife, then injures pastors during prayers at Lakeland church - St. Petersburg Times

Domestic violence murders rise as crime falls in Florida - St. Petersburg Times

Domestic violence murders rise as crime falls in Florida - St. Petersburg Times

Trinidad and Tobago Declares Drug War Emergency

Trinidad and Tobago Declares Drug War Emergency

Women Heroes of 9/11

Women Heroes of 9/11

Women Heroes of 9/11

September 8, 2011
Women Heroes of 9/11
Of the 2,753 people who died one decade ago this September 11th, nearly 950 were women. "Watching the coverage, you might not know that women had any role as first line responders," CNN's Soledad O'Brien told PINK after interviewing women for her Beyond Bravery: The Women of 9/11 special airing this week.
Female rescuers want to set the record straight. "Women played a role in every job at ground zero. That they had to sue for the right to have a career that is so dangerous you can lose your life is remarkable," says O'Brien.
Capt. Brenda Berkman of the New York City Fire Department knew 250 of the 342 firefighters who died that day. She was among the first 42 female firefighters hired in NYC after winning a gender discrimination lawsuit. Since retiring in 2006, 

*

Berkman now gives tours of the 9/11 Tribute Center. “I’d like to feel that history is going to be remembered accurately," she says.
Firefighter Regina Wilson says, “It felt like a warzone.” Today, fewer than 5 percent of U.S. firefighters are female. “People want to say we’re part of the brotherhood: we’re not. We’re sisters, we’re women,” she tells CNN.
NYPD Deputy Inspector Terri Tobin was beneath the twin towers on 9/11, sustaining serious injuries to her head and upper body. “All you heard was people screaming,” she says. “I grabbed someone’s hand and said ‘I’m with the NYPD, I’m not going to let go.’” Women currently make up 17 percent of the national police force. Tobin’s department lost 23 officers that day, and nearly 100 retired later due to PTSD. “I don’t think there was any task performed down there that was not performed by women,” Tobin adds.
CNN profiles these and other women heroes in Beyond Bravery: The Women of 9/11, hosted by Soledad O’Brien.  
Bonus PINK Link: These women showed heroic courage on 9/11. Here’s how to find your own courage.
Comment and tell us how you feel about the coverage of women’s roles on 9/11.
By Caroline Cox

"I shall not die of a cold.  I shall die of having lived." Willa Cather

Women Stand Strong

Women Stand Strong

The world has never yet seen a truly great and virtuous nation because in the degradation of woman the very fountains of life are poisoned at their source." ~ Lucretia Mott

"I do not wish them to have power over men, but over themselves." ~ Mary Wollstonecraft

"It was we, the people; not we, the white male citizens; nor yet we, the male citizens; but we, the whole people, who formed the Union.... Men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less." ~ Susan B. Anthony

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song." ~ Maya Angelou

"But life is a battle: may we all be enabled to fight it well!" ~ Charlotte Bronte

"Rise to the occasion which is life!" ~ Virginia Euwer Wolff

"Champions have the courage to keep turning the pages because they know a better chapter lies ahead." ~ Paula White

"It's the magic of risking everything for a dream that nobody sees but you." ~ Million Dollar Baby

"Try, reach, want, and you may fall. But even if you do, you might be okay anyway. If you don't try, you save nothing, because you might as well be dead." ~ Ann Brashares (Girls in Pants) as Tibby Tomko-Rollins

Fighting To Keep Your Man or Woman!

Fighting To Keep Your Man or Woman!

By: Sharock P.

Is it Wrong to Fight For Your Man or Woman?

Some Women say yes, while others say hell no, but isn't that what most women do anyway? If you have a man and you monitor his whereabouts, aren't you fighting to keep him? You are trying to make sure that he doesn't get distracted or tempted by outside resources.

We as Women joke around when we say that women do not want a man until he is with another woman and that is true. Most of the time the belief is that another woman would not keep a worthless man. If a man is with another woman the horn begins to toot, because this man must have a job, be a good provider and must be great in bed; because why else would another woman want or keep him?

When you usually see a man that is handsome, working and single, the warning lights begin blinking off and on, something is wrong with this dude. He probably is a player, he cannot commit and he is basically a dog.
So when we as women ask ourselves why these women keep messing with our man, we know the reason.

 Now should women be upset with the Man or the Woman? We should be upset with both of them, because most women know that a man has another woman even if he doesn't admit it. Especially when you cannot reach him during certain times (other than work), he does not spend the holidays with you, he doesn't stay over, you cannot come to his apartment, he always wants to hook up at the hotel or motel, he rushes you off of the phone, he never says love you back on the phone and other obvious signs. We as women tend to ignore the burning sensation in our bellies and the thoughts flowing through our minds.

First of all we think that our stuff is gold and after you put that loving on him, he would not cheat on you because he was full. Second he loves you too much and would never even think of another woman, because what the two of you have is so special.

Ladies Men have been breaking hearts for centuries and our century is no different. Women are finding it harder and harder to trust their men or keep their men, especially with all of these lonely temptress women out there. Women tend to have no regards for marriage and other women in relationships. We are upset with the other woman for sharing our man without our permission, and then we are upset with the man for not standing strong and holding his marriage or relationship as being sacred.

Now if a man is tempted by another woman and he takes her up on her offer, do you take the man back? Can a man that cheats ever be trusted again, or do you just accept his moment of weakness and put handcuffs on your man and continue to monitor his whereabouts? Can you live a happy life if you are always worried about where and with whom your man is with? Do you ignore the cheating to say you have a man and at least he comes home to you and gives you the paycheck. What is right and what is wrong? If you give up on your man and he goes to the other woman, are you upset with him, when you threw him out?

I have a good friend that was cheating on his wife for years, but when he starting observing changes in her behavior, he realized that she might be cheating on him and he was devastated. He realized how much he loved her and wanted to make things right. She had been telling him for years that things were not right, but when he realized that she was desirable to someone else, he got his act together and now they are the happiest couple. He had to face the chance that he could lose his woman and then he cleaned up his act. Is that what it takes to make a marriage work? Why do we behave so reckless in our relationships? Why can't two people that commit there love to one another stay true and faithful? How come some Men stay faithful and others don't?

In the words of one Brain Surgeon (jokingly), I cannot eat at McDonald's everyday, once in awhile I want to try Burger King! If a couple spiced up their relationship, can they view it as a different menu or great buffet? If we kept our relationships fresh and new could we keep our partners happy? Shouldn't that be one of our options?

Also, do know that sometimes when a man tells you that an outfit doesn't look good on you he is lying. He doesn't want you dressed in that outfit without him? Men and their games.

If you want to keep your Man or Woman, you don't have to physically fight for them (some cases-not encouraged), but you need to fight for each other, by listening, communicating and supporting. Don't allow your ego to control your relationship, everybody is wrong once in awhile and sometimes passing on an argument can be a healthy move.